A glorious day of scolding!
Can you imagine being scolded twice in a day for something you have not done? Yes damn annoying right? Well, try expriencing in on a day where your group assignment is due and you are working thus very rushed for time and the internet connection desides to go down for you and you ONLY...therefore the day just practically was rushed and sucked like hell.
So anyway the first time happened when...
One customer was joking about seeing the receipt first before paying. Now the receipt was in a big bulk in my pocket and I wasn't in the mood to dig through my pockets just to entertain him. As I was walking towards the cashier to pay for the drinks the customer has paid for, my stupid supervisor had to scold me for not showing the receipt first to the customer when he asks for it. Come on...how professional would it look if I went rummaging through a stack of receipts from both my pockets in front of the customer? They must be wondering why I was storing all the receipts in my pocket in the first place...and then that would lead me into another round of explanation. Damn I'm sure by now you guys reading this are thinking why would I want to steal receipts. Well, anyway for every purchase a customer orders through me...the only proof of work done is through the amount of receipts I get each day. I have a 60 receipt target for each working extravaganza. It's hard enough that they have to account for every single drop of water I drink from their place and walking around smiling to meet my target yet get wrongly accused for something I did not do wrong and I have to pass up an assignment that day with some stupid group members giving me trouble...THAT STUPID SUPERVISOR JUST HAD TO MAKE THE DAY WORSE!
Next, the 16 year old daugther of Lim Kok Wing which people call as 'watermelon girl' cuz she has boobs the size of them which was a bit too freaky to be sexy had to come and order all the staff around. Come on la...she is like half the age of the most experienced people in the industry and she is ordering me around. And she had to tell me that if a person goes up to the counter to order then there is something wrong with ME....so what am I supposed to do...stop them in mid sentence and force them to sit? IDIOT! She has not been a waitress before...what the hell would she know about our horrible life? Like in waiterrant's blog
(here), some people just love being a bitch! And she scolded me for 15 minutes while hugging me...EEEWWWW...gross!! Hahaha...but its funny with her bimbo ways trying her best not to piss me of....akkaka...while showing her air of importance....well....guess what?? She pissed off the whole coffee house staff...........
BUT THE DAY GOT BETTER....
Pereira surprised me with the book I wanted.
The first time in my life I was surprised by someone. It feels great...one feels so loved! Thank u my darling. Girl, that one thing made my whole day. I will never forget it! Thank you so so so much! The other time I got surprised was at my 17th surprise birthday by my best friend. Oh ya...that time when my bro gave me a CD and inside was the most beautiful necklace ever. Gosh...my bro is so romantic! But men just dissapoint me so far. Wonder if this is how it feels like when a boyfriend surprises his gf?? or does it feel incredibly better? I wonder...I ponder...!!!
I want a cat!!!
Gosh many people eat, drink, smoke or do whatever to fill that loneliness in their hearts. For me, I think a cat as a pet would do best. You get all the love and affection from that one lil cute thing. You single people out there sure understand the nagging pain in your heart when you see blissful happy giggly couples so so happy in their loving world walking around you...surrounding you everywhere. You just cant shield them from your eyesight yet you can't hate them for being so happy. Yet on the other hand..you either wished you were like them or they we as miserable like you. I still feel like that some times but now...I wished I had a cat. They are so cute and cuddly la....so lovable! So full of everything comfy! Well... that is all a dream anyway as for now...what can I say....living in a condo doesnt allow the freedom for what the cat needs....the time will come when I do get my own house!
The end is near!
The semester is almost over. The thought of going back home for a month to just relax with no juggling of exams, tests, assignments and work gives me the mood to smile all day but we are not there yet so I can't dream as much. I will miss my friends here though...who have been such an important part of my everyday life...seeing them day in day out made them like a part of my life that is engraved there. You just can't get bored of them.
But the best part I love about the end of the semester is that you will find a nice sight of men dressed formally....yummy! Yes yes yes...all the presentations are due at the end of the semester and we get to feast our eyes on handsome hunks in formal shirts and slacks and if you are lucky...maybe a tie. Gosh...I was admiring this Chinese mix French guy who had real nice long hair...unlike his usual days of jeans and T-shirt...today he adorned a nice black slacks and shirt. Working at the coffee house for once was exciting but sadly I couldnt sit down to chat with him....ahahhahah! But life goes on..........
I just realised I'm so boring...besides my date on Sunday nite to watch Madagascar....I think I have nothing else to look forward to this weekend. Maybe spend some girls nite in with Noor...!! That would be nice....
*sigh* A happy day!
My journalism, public relations and also research & presentation assignments are all done. I am only left with studying for the PR finals and also finishing my last Critical Attitude assignment which is due on the 1st of June. There a kind of relief when it comes to all my burdens slowly being lifted up! A smile forms more easily and I am able to have spontaneous moments of hangout time with my friends from my monotonous and stressful study and working life.
I am so happy today. A friend of mine that is currently in US finally came online after like not contacting that person for one month. I do miss the conversations we used to have. But guess work comes first right? I do wonder about the prospect of sms-ing that far. How much is it?
I miss the easy smile on Pereira's face. She was real stern looking today. I know I hurt her bad when I refuse to accept her compliment on me being sweet. But that is the thing about me...I discourage myself from taking and accepting compliments because I'm afraid of turning egotistical and proud. The only one thing that makes me push myself so hard is the constant knowledge that I am not that amazing and I need to make myself better all the time! I am so sorry for what I did. Please smile for me again and if I did anything wrong towards you please tell me straight in my face! Please smile again...if not for me...for yourself! I just do not know how to tell her that she is such a precious friend...a one in a million that I would never want to loose. But guess I'm too proud to say it..?? Or just plain afraid of what she would react to it??
3 hours of sleep!!
3 blissful hours of sleep is what I got this morning from 5 am till 8 am then I was off to work. So sad right the life of a uni student. No I wasnt rushing my assignments but I was studying. U must be wondering why if I am so rushed for time ...why am I not studying now and am blogging pulak? Cuz my friend took my stuff to photostat....so now i'm left with nothing!!! Gosh, I pray she returns it fast cuz I got lots to finish.
Yesterday my ex housemate was walking in front of me. I waved 'HI!' with a friendly smile. I couldnt believe it....she rolled her eyes and walked off while her friend an acquaintance of mine...smiled back and waved happily. Now what is wrong with her? I used to cook for her and wash up cause she was just too busy for assignments. I used to wake up at 4 in the morning to cook for her boyfriend who was fasting while she slept on like a log. And now she was giving me this attitude....I just really do not understand humans. And there she was complaining all the time about her not having any true friends. One must act like a true friend first before acquiring one close and dear to the heart. I will continue to smile and wave...but its here problem for harbouring this anger....akkakakaakka.......
Innocence is NOT a virtual!
Guilt overwhelms the person and clouds their vision. I think that is what has been happening to me causing me to be so distracted at times. Forgive me my dear friends if I have been in a daze these past few days. Well, there are two incidents in my mind that is so out of this world. Sometimes, when things like this happen we wonder what is happening to the world now.
I was at McDonald yesterday with a friend munching happily on our fries and chomping down on our cheeseburgers. Suddenly this innocent looking high school girl comes up to me begging me for a few dollars so that she can take the bus back home to her mom. Sadly, I had just spent my last ringgit on the burger and had indulged myself earlier into the book sale a few hours before. I bought Donald Trump’s latest book on how to get rich Gosh I have wanted to get that for so long. Guess I have to starve on bread and butter for the next few days in order to compensate for the high price of the book.
But just the temptation of a 20% rebate for the book caught me into a zombie like trance towards the cashier. I also got this cute book for my mom and this real interesting mystery book for my sis. What can I say…I’m a sucker when it comes to books and sales! Anyway, back to the story, I felt so guilty having to have to tell that poor girl that I’m broke and cant help her out. There was this nagging feeling the whole time I sat there watching her back retreat away from me. Luckily this lady gave her a few bucks. I felt less guilty but knowing at the fact of the one ringgit coin in my wallet and not have given it to her made me feel so much worse.
Hours passed and my friend & I decided to adjourn to the smoking area at balcony of McD so that we can observe the people around. A weird hobby but very entertaining and it also helps with getting ideas to write a good book (?????). So, there we were chatting and reading the books we just bought when that same “poor” girl came in asking for money from a table across from us. Now, my mind reels to “WHAT THE HELL?”. And here I was feeling guilty bout not helping her. I’m back in control of my emotional circus knowing she was a con. Kids nowadays….such a depressing community. She was so well dressed and even carrying today’s newspaper and yet she had to succumb to this to gain money. Does not working in McD give more satisfaction of RM 4 an hour rather than wandering around feeding on people’s sympathy?
Another food for thought, is there a rule that one should never date your best friend’s ex boyfriend (A) ?not to mention that (A) so happens to be your ex boyfriend’s best friend? Now, I know it sounds complicated but what would you do in this dilemma? As Murphy Law states anything bad that can happen will happen!
*blink* *blink* *blink*
The day starts of like this....
Gosh..I'm already late for class! I run towards the stairs taking 2 steps at a time
*ring*
DAMN..who is it this time? I picked up the call....
Hot Australian accented man : Hello, can I speak to Proffesor Chia please?
*blink* *blink*
Me : What? I'm sorry!
Hot Australian accented man : Is this 016 -
*&%$Q!@$ ?
Me : Yes it is but there is no Prof Chia.
H.A.A.M : Ok...thank you. I must have jotted the number wrong!
I look around with a face expression of 'can-today-get-any-weirder'. Well, I said it a little too soon. During my beloved Public Relations class 2 hours later after my hot sexy phone number (so NOT!), my lecturer Mr. Bernard....(oh this all happened after class was dismissed and a few of us were sitting and chatting with him )...shocked me with some disturbing comment. I am after all....not shy to admit...am a hardworking and dilligent student. What else more can he want as a model student? Ok...I'm working hard towards there anyway!
Backgroud of the story : My good friend, Miss Kelly and Pereira was so kindly complaining on how I could stay in the uni from 10 am in the morn and only return home at 7.30 pm. I know I know....it sounds like I do not have a life...and I was shocked they had to give that impression to everyone else in the class right? SHOCKING! Anyway, the main reason to it is the bus scheduling which I feel in my breathing lifespand is a waste of time to explain.
The STORY : So, I stupidly to cover up for my embarassment I said, "
I am contented with my silence!" Ok ok...then my mind was in a whirl wheel and I am still shocked at my words. What does that mean anyway?
It must really be the lack of sleep. I'm delusional! As my good friends continued to tease me...Mr. Bernard decided to break the silence (????) by saying.....read every word k....." Make sure you allocate some time for ( snicker and wink ) MEN! ". My jaw literally dropped 10 metres underground.
Do I look that desperate? Do I look like I really have no life what so ever?
The BIG problem here : Yes, I know you men there think what the hell is the big prob here right? There is...when the lecturer starts asking you to date and asking you to let me qoute,
" Find a men and mold him like clay into what you want as a lover!" (Bernard, 2005) then we got a big big problem here. Lecturers are known to be oblivious of the surroundings or even they are not so, would only state their observations at times when it is needed...henceforth when the problem (whatever or whichever it is) gets out of hand. Now, I am about to scream...but the millions of people sitting surrounding me will then have their own stampede fest! This is because (to explain to you guys out there...& gals also la) for me as a female homosapien...being told and advised by a lecturer regarding my interactions with men sort of signifies that :-
1. I don't go out enough??
2. I don't date enough???
3. I don't look stable and balanced as a normal young adult????
4. I dunno...its just plain 100% on the weird scale?????
IT JUST...plainly stated...FREAKED ME OUT!
Unity among the races!
My good friend left her headlights on during the whole duration of class. So guess what! YES on her way to go back home...her car wouldnt start. Now what was the possibility of someone bringing around a jump plug for her! Sadly I couldnt say I was of much help. Anyway they discovered another way to jump start her car....we had to push it then start the engine & by then it would go. So here I was imagining in my mind...2 girls ...one in heels which is me...pushing her 'old junk' as she calls it in Lim Kok Wing's car park. Now I understand Lim Kok Wing students and trust me I know when I say that no one will help us out at all. They will stare. They will laugh. But helping out...hmmmm...that is another story.
So, we decided to ask the cab drivers if they had a jump cable...cuz I thought that it was most likely what cab drivers had (?????). So anyway, they straight away jump up looking all over for a jump cable and having not find one went to help her push the car. The scene got more hilarious when my beloved friend did not know when and how to start a moving (being pushed??) car so they got her to surrender her car to them and they started it for her. YEAH it was working again. So there she went 'putt putt'-ing off in her car...with me all afraid that it would break down again. Thank God it did not. But one comment which she said really put a thought in me...she said that because she is Indian thus they helped but if she was Chinese it was a different story. We were quite afraid that the cab drivers would converse with her in Tamil as she is as one would say...NOT TOO FLUENT in that language. I wonder if he would have refused to help her if he knew so? Now, from that, I really admire the unity of the Indian race. One wont see that much in a Chinese race.....hahahah...that is my opinion anyway!!!
ARGH...listen la!
One thing I really hate about some people is that before you can finish the sentence they already cut you off and make their own assumptions. My father is like that sometimes but he is learning slowly to listen to me. Well...I want to give my deepest respects and grattitude to all my friends who listen to me....not only my words but what my heart & eyes tell.
There was this friend of mine who was low on cash and still wanted to to call me. The thing is when he called me I asked him to put down the phone and call me later. Gosh why couldnt he listen to my whole sentence but he just had to put down the phone due to good reasons. Ok...way rude rite he putting down the phone like that but I'm real nice so I dun really get mad. Whichever way....I am pissed that he just wouldnt listen...well its his choice la that he wants to ruin our friendship. MEN......ARGH!!! Hey all my guy friends out there pls pls take time to listen to me...and those of my friends who are guys thank you for all the patience of listening to me!!
Dun understand women!
Yes...though as everyone knows the obvious that I am part of the female homosapien spesies I think I do not understand them that well. Yesterday, my friend was acting weird. First she was chatting happily with me then after a few hours she decides to ignore me and just talk to the people around me. When I try talking to her, she looks at me as if I was an alien and that it's just impossible to have a conversation with her. Another 2 hours later, she smiles at me and gives me a big hug then offering to send me home. Now, I finally understand it when men say how they do not understand us.
But you see...a lot of my friends are male...and I believe I understand them more then I do of my own kind. Yes I do know that I am very very weird but what can I do when a best friend of mine thought me....to work like a man...to be like a man when it comes to handling our problems in our daily life especially when it comes to working and succeeding! I came to understand and keep that value so close to me that I seem to work more like a man than a woman....why so??? I dunno!!!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading this book called..."Play like a man, win like a woman!" by Gail Evans but the book is so damn expensive...RM66.90 for a thin book of about 100 plus pages but it is interesting telling us the rules of succeeding that men know and women don't. Gosh....nevermind...pray hard some of my friends have it then I can borrow...hahahah!
Working life is gettin a bit easier...hahhahah...not so stressful! But then again it's part time and you always get overworked rite???
*sigh* do i derserve a kowtow?
Well...my fren suddenly yesterday told me that she kowtow me...respects me for being able to handle so many things at one time. I failed yet she respects me. I did not know my strenght to go on in life derserves her awe. Idid not even know it was called a strenght. I just carry on. All my life I had been flying solo that I only knew the word forward if not where else would we go. There is no point wallowing in the past which I admit I still do it at times. Then I met a really good friend who taught me a lot. But is it possible for a person to be so wise? I kinda feel that it is so not fair for him to have so much knowledge and mother nature just forgot to add a sprinkle of it into me when I was made.
I appreciate your help. Thank you! Finally now I know the depth of a little of working life if I am planning to go into event planning. But will I succeed? I pray and hope I would....with all my heart. So back to the question!!! Well, I think I do not deserve the kowtow since she is as for now the straight A student of my course and also very successful than me in everything. She worked her ass off to buy her own kembara...that is so cool. I believe that she deserves my kowtow.
I still dun understand why after that many time that Lim Kok Wing Jr. dissappears from the face of the school...he decides to come up to work against us on this. Why did the LICS not encounter this and we were more organized than them? How can he say that the car wash is not passible when it was underway at the moment...his reason for refusing the event was not substancial yet cuz he was authority we were not able to fight. We did make a mistake la....and I believe it is my fault. Failure ...oh failure!!!
Only 5 seconds.....
Yes...only 5 seconds after I posted the previous post on how things are ok and that everything will be well...I get a call from my president. The car wash was cancelled. How could management be so irresponsible. Do they not know the many many many disadvantages and bad image that goes to our club to have to apologize to everyone and return their money? Especially after my constant begging and pleading for them to buy. Do they not know that I am so damn angry and so so dissapointed? Do they not know I put my whole heart sweating buckets of blood and effort and sleepless nights just worrying about how it would go? God...please tell me why this had to happen!
Well, truthfully sometimes I feel like blaming management for this but I am at wrong. I should not have believed that guy who supposingly were the person to "konon" approve our proposal. I should have checked properly that the higher person...Tan Sri Lim Kok Wing himself agreed to our proposal...I should not have believed that guy...this guy in management...the guy in charge of all this things...I overlooked him...I shouldn't have believed him when he said Lim Kok Wing totally approves. How am I to carry my face after this? The interview on radio? My name is a goner.....my life is screwed...no organizer makes this kind of stupid mistakes...am I doomed in life? Never to be a event planner? Please.....this is more profound than depression...this is more intense than malice...this is.................DEATH!
Working.....part time!!!
Well, today is my second day at work...and it is going well...not bad anyway I would say. So anyway, I am happy to state it is nice...the people there real friendly and the work load though tiring is fulfilling...the service industry not bad la...but working for 4 hours today was nice with me beating the target of an extra 17 purchases than expected. Its nice to be this good...but I doubt we can ever be good all the time...this is because I had less competition today hahahah.
Anyway, my car wash was gettin opposition from Lim Kok Wing Jr and I am so worried that I have to apologize to this people & thus put my name down as an unrealiable organizer and the club is put to shame. This is such a weird occurance and I am so irritated at the person who "konon" approved our activity but never even brought it through to the higher authority. And thus now I am so so sad at what has happened.
Hey, today was my first time of being interview for radio. It feels so nice to be acknowledge. But let it not get to my head....because if this fails I will be the laughing stock of the centuary for this uni. God please help me!!!
A glimpse of Heaven!!!
Well you can all say that I am really soft in the sense that most people can use guilt to push their way through hahahahha. Pereira so lovingly brought me out on Monday for lunch. Man…I adore this girl….a heart of gold! Anyway, we went to Gengki Sushi to eat yet despite the fact that she did not like a single thing there she endured it because of Josh(her best buddy) and truthfully I love Japanese food so there was no problem for me to NOT enjoy the outing.
Then, she decided to bring me all the way from Sunway drive up to Ikano to have wine. Now, this is really one person who enjoys her dining…ok ok…not really…she hates Jap food but that can’t be help as so she says…I quote “ I’m Indian!”…noticing the relevance?? maybe the lack of spiciness?? The flavour?? The prospect of raw food?? Anyway, she got out a bottle of Late Harvest wine which I was shocked at the price of it….RM 100 +++++ my jaws were practically dropping off its hinges. Then the waiter poured me half a glass and asked me to taste. Ok…I was lost here! There I was sitting looking blankly at their expectant faces. How does this go? Ohhhhh….apparently we shake/stir/move in circles the glass…whatever you want to call it…then smell it then take a few sips.
Wow…I was transported to a day in Heaven…its was excellent wine especially coming from one who only drinks RM10 wine a few times from my mom’s hamper gift purchase. But then I smartly dulled my senses with Blueberry cheesecake with chocolate sauce. I noticed the taste difference…amazingly but then I did not want to mention anything knowing I was uneducated in this department. Apparently…Pereira stated the same thing. Boy…was I so proud of myself! I drank 2 cups which the last half was drank bottoms up…due to Pereira’s persuasion. Did I not mention I have a real soft spot for her? First time…drink an alcoholic drink bottoms up…is wine an alcoholic drink??should be la kan!! Anyway you should have seen my face….red like a lobster and I was walking round Ikea shopping…truthfully we were a little…and I stress LITTLE…tipsy so we were one group of giggly people in Ikea but it was all fun altogether.
What I did not expect was…the drowsy effect it gave me. Gosh I actually fell asleep on the couch of Starbucks in The Curve when Josh was having his coffee. They had to send me back home after that…hahaha…like a pampered little kitty!!! So anyway smartly when I arrived back…I consumed yoghurt which upset my stomach and I had diarrhea the whole night and also the next day…damn…and I had a real important journalism presentation that next day. Thank God I survived and did ok. Hope I did well!!
Talking bout Starbucks…. I remembered once I went on a so called date with a friend….and he was so weird…getting me to pay for stuff…which was I think ok la…but the worst part was after I got out of the car he honked at me to walk back towards him and give him cash for the petrol. Hello?? What was that?? His reason….so he can have more Starbucks. Now, my ex-housemate used to say I date real weird people & I used to deny it but by now I totally agree with her. Is it cause I’m weird that is why I attract people like that? What do you think?
First nervous breakdown!
Before I tell you some sad story, here is some words to ponder about...I find it real deep and meaningful....something we never would have noticed or thought about in our busy modern lives...
"Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, whydo we love?Why is it all we search for in life? This pain,this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerfuldeath of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It issuch an addictive thing that even people who arenot having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well."
"Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our soul heal..."
Yup yup...you can close your drooping jaw now...I was having a real difficult time last Thursday. When finally my ultimate hard work of all assignments returned back to me, I saw the results and that just blew off the passion I had for studying and doing well. What is the point of working hard if the results just never seem to go the way I want it to? And the job I was applying for...the man in charge did not call me...meaning of all the people interviewed I did not get it...ARGH...and I thought that due to my 'efficiency' compare to the others who were late for the interview and stuff I would be a good candidate...apparently I did not play my cards right!
My mom called and I just had to be so smart to tell her. Her dissapointment in me broke my last nerve. After that, I was trying had to be cheerful and strong. But after a long talk with mybro, gosh I was mad. Everytime someone said something I would just start crying. And I hate crying...cuz it shows that I am weak and there I was bawling like a baby...I hated the front I was presenting there to my friends but I just couldn control myself. My friends forced me to back home early despite the many things I had to do and sleep in for a day or two. And they were asking me to do them a favour by not doing any assignments at all during those days...it's so sweet of them...but they must have laughed at how I love to display my water works...DAMN! But today I'm feeling a bit better but still a bit tired and edgy. Gosh....what in the world is wrong with me???
NEW LIFE RULES!
My constant failures in life is maybe there is still not enough hard work. As we all know, I have always been an average student. But I no longer want to be average...I want all A's in my subjects this semester. So I pray hard but the thing is I just don't have the right skills and brains to go that far.
So I believe more extreme measures must be made. Firstly, television and movies and all other sorts of entertainment is out of the question. Including mobile phone games are not to be touched. Next, there will be more extra effort put into the assignment with each aspect taken into consideration...ok maybe I did do this last time too...but I am sure there is a way to be more thorough. Thirdly, the only things I can touch is my assignments and also books to improve myself...THUS this also brings about that sleep should come secondary as those friends of mine who excel seldom sleep. And for now onwards, each assignment must be run through at least 3 times. Weekends and all free time is dedicated to modifiy and intensify success this semester. I only have 5 more weeks to get all this done...SO I PRAY GOD pls pls pls help me out here!
Sitting on the brink of DEPRESSION...
I am so sorry for sounding so not positive and optimistic as I usually am. But turns in life is really bringing me down. For those who really know me, I am a real analytical person. I analyse and breakdown and investigate on the moves and actions of a person to see how a person is. Most people call me 'The Observer' but then again its not something good because like a certain 'bastard' used to say....you see too much into what might not be there. Which I thought was so true...and due to his advice I took it.
There is just this negative energy that is drawing down many dark clouds around me. I cant take it anymore and there is just no way to pull myself out. You see, the main reason for this is that no matter how hard I work on an assignment...it would just never come out right. My friend who finished it in like 6 hours overnight did better than me....so I am doomed. From this you can see...anyone can see...how can a person actually achieve to be a SOMEONE when a simple task as writing a speech for an assignment can present you with good results! So I just do not know what will happen to all my plans for the future...would they all not succeed cuz I am just such a person unable to attain to those valuable goals. But as they say...to fear the future is to deprive yourself of the enjoyment for the future to come....SO I wont fear it...but I do say I tend to worry a lot. As Aree always says, I'm so 'anal' (read: I think she means tensed?) bout my assignments I sometimes wonder how I turn out to be such an horrible person.
For now....love as everyone is experiencing giddily is out of my distionary yet I seem to be the one dying and losing out because I am not in "love". Those in love and with their minds bogged down by problems of relationships and stuff seem to be working themselves up the level of success...in the classrooms anyway. I am doomed...and so so so feeling like I am about to jump off the roof of my 16 floor condo.....
You know....as they say...when you muse and inspiration fly off...it just feels like you cant do it on your own....and you will never find back that same inspiration that brought you so FAR!!!
