First nervous breakdown!Before I tell you some sad story, here is some words to ponder about...I find it real deep and meaningful....something we never would have noticed or thought about in our busy modern lives...
"Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, whydo we love?Why is it all we search for in life? This pain,this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerfuldeath of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It issuch an addictive thing that even people who arenot having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well."
"Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our soul heal..."
Yup yup...you can close your drooping jaw now...I was having a real difficult time last Thursday. When finally my ultimate hard work of all assignments returned back to me, I saw the results and that just blew off the passion I had for studying and doing well. What is the point of working hard if the results just never seem to go the way I want it to? And the job I was applying for...the man in charge did not call me...meaning of all the people interviewed I did not get it...ARGH...and I thought that due to my 'efficiency' compare to the others who were late for the interview and stuff I would be a good candidate...apparently I did not play my cards right!
My mom called and I just had to be so smart to tell her. Her dissapointment in me broke my last nerve. After that, I was trying had to be cheerful and strong. But after a long talk with mybro, gosh I was mad. Everytime someone said something I would just start crying. And I hate crying...cuz it shows that I am weak and there I was bawling like a baby...I hated the front I was presenting there to my friends but I just couldn control myself. My friends forced me to back home early despite the many things I had to do and sleep in for a day or two. And they were asking me to do them a favour by not doing any assignments at all during those days...it's so sweet of them...but they must have laughed at how I love to display my water works...DAMN! But today I'm feeling a bit better but still a bit tired and edgy. Gosh....what in the world is wrong with me???