Epistle of the stars!

Sitting on the brink of DEPRESSION...

I am so sorry for sounding so not positive and optimistic as I usually am. But turns in life is really bringing me down. For those who really know me, I am a real analytical person. I analyse and breakdown and investigate on the moves and actions of a person to see how a person is. Most people call me 'The Observer' but then again its not something good because like a certain 'bastard' used to say....you see too much into what might not be there. Which I thought was so true...and due to his advice I took it.

There is just this negative energy that is drawing down many dark clouds around me. I cant take it anymore and there is just no way to pull myself out. You see, the main reason for this is that no matter how hard I work on an assignment...it would just never come out right. My friend who finished it in like 6 hours overnight did better than me....so I am doomed. From this you can see...anyone can see...how can a person actually achieve to be a SOMEONE when a simple task as writing a speech for an assignment can present you with good results! So I just do not know what will happen to all my plans for the future...would they all not succeed cuz I am just such a person unable to attain to those valuable goals. But as they say...to fear the future is to deprive yourself of the enjoyment for the future to come....SO I wont fear it...but I do say I tend to worry a lot. As Aree always says, I'm so 'anal' (read: I think she means tensed?) bout my assignments I sometimes wonder how I turn out to be such an horrible person.

For now....love as everyone is experiencing giddily is out of my distionary yet I seem to be the one dying and losing out because I am not in "love". Those in love and with their minds bogged down by problems of relationships and stuff seem to be working themselves up the level of success...in the classrooms anyway. I am doomed...and so so so feeling like I am about to jump off the roof of my 16 floor condo.....

You know....as they say...when you muse and inspiration fly off...it just feels like you cant do it on your own....and you will never find back that same inspiration that brought you so FAR!!!

posted by Orion @ 3:29 PM