Beyond boundaries....
How did a day dream end up into reality?
How did a guy I liked end up liking me?
How did God manage to allow me just enough money to survive...just the right amount without me even calculating it?
All these coincidences....are not really coincidences. They are amazing God given gifts. Yet, some of them so utterly wrong and unreal.
Everyday I seem to ask myself..."What am I doing?". It is weird to be so utterly happy after such a long time of unhappiness and depression to find something so amazing.
Then on the other hand I feel it is distracting me from my other purposes. Like how I seem to not want to do assignments anymore...and I dun spend like 2-3 weeks on my assignments anymore. But my mind seems to fill with things that he said...things that I think he meant...things that I should be doing....money that I need to accumulate....my need for the gym. Even my housemates call me the "gym junkie" while his mom raves on bout how im a "cook book junkie".
Do I really seem like an addict?
There I go rambling random stuff again....what's wrong with me!!???!!!
Sorry...im so scattered now...i need to get my life in line.....give me time k.....
Juggling wobbly...
Imagine the circus music surrounding you. And out wobbles a clown in gigantic shoes and face paint thick enough to cover all your room walls. He has painted on a 100megawatt smile but behind those thick lines of paint is a uncertain smile...for he is juggling 4 red balls in his hand...and the never-ending fear of him dropping those balls, losing balance or embarassing himself in front of the audience keeps his heart racing at 100 beats a minute.
For you see..he does not juggle with the same grace as a juggler would...the ones trained professionally to just juggle but he is an amateur...throw into the act for the sake of entertainment and circumstance but not for the love of it.
Have you ever felt that way? That we are forever juggling what we have in life. The more important things there are to you at the moment...the more you have to juggle them to fit into your short available times.
I feel now....the unstable and wobbly juggling of things in my life...my studies, work, church and friends, him and gym/stayin fit. There is never enough time in the day and not a moment in which I have time to relax. But not to say...I wish for more time with him...because its the only time I do get to relax. But would it be too selfish or greedy to ask for more investment of his time...when he himself face the same problem of juggling heavier balls than mine?
But the days seems to go by happier when I know he is there to support me. Yet, some days....i just overly mental masturbate of the outcome far far away from today. The cultural differences freak me out. The fact that all my friends are asians and all his friends are white. But hey....life is bout challenges. Needless to say we did not choose the conventional path to knowing each other and getting to know each other....which for many is taboo, even the lil asian me...but we shall be positive hey?
Studies is piling up on me...I am so busy there is no time where my brain doesn't think and process. I am sick of studying and this is only my second semester....can someone kick me in the bum? Forgive my weird ramblings....I have a test in 3 hours yet I refuse to study and currently have no internet at home so am blogging in the midst of 10 million other Curtin students....ARGH!
Starting anew...
That title sounds familiar...wonder if I ever used it before? Hahhahah...too lazy to find out. I am utterly overly very the lazy....I feel like the couch potato whose body shape has curved every inch on the sofa to accommodate my junk filled body. Thank God I am not in that repulsive stage yet.
I am glad to announce that I have joined the gym and am determined to get back my hour glass figure in which my micro mini skirts could shine thru...MUAHAHHAHA. Not to say that I am very appreciative of the glances someone has been showering me with; reminding me of what a beautiful person I am despite the flabs here and there. But the truth is...I find it easier to love myself now; even before the appreciative glances started. I guess that is what one would call the liberation thru the love of many good friends...boosting of one's self image.
My other new love of my life is Mr. Lancer. My wonderful graduation gift from my parents. They are so sweet...giving me such an expensive gift....tho it is 10 years old and dying from its previous owner. I am very happy for the gift. And hey...I can finally brag that I am a LANCER driver as what my friends and I used to gush over at Lancer cars...akakkaka...*giggle*. But hey...driving one is no big deal...feels exactly like when I used to drive Nick's old proton. Same feel....same interior feel too....only diff is the brand name....akakakkaka
Sorry guys...no mood to blog properly with the overly drama words....dang tired and sleepy....n sick...got xray to take on Mon....crossing my fingers for good results...*sigh* tired and i miss him...miss him so so much.....
