Epistle of the stars!

My last day...

The clock strikes 4.50am as I struggle to carry myself out of bed. I sigh...work again...so early with the dreaded long 40 minute walk. I silently crept to the bathroom and got ready for my long journey. The Saturday morning walks are usually uneventful as most of the drunken clubbers are found on Sunday mornings.

I stepped into the darkness at 5.05 am donning my purple jumpsuit for the cold weather. The long walk will warm me up somehow. I prepare my brain for the silent torture as it plays out the events of 2007 that still continues to haunt me. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of feet shuffling. My heart began to pulse a little faster and I turn my head behind me checking for any weird strangers. I see none and allow my mind to drift back to the dilemma in my mind. However, even though I should have been reassured, my pace has quickened a fair bit.

Seconds later, my deep contemplation was alerted by the sound of someone calling me. I panic as no one should even be awake at this ghastly hour; besides me. My quick pace turns into an almost jog, desperate to get away from the howling man. My mind reels the danger of possible rape, mugging or some drunk crazy guy looking to hurt me. I feared for my life and my safety.

It felt like the longest 6 minutes of my life as I lugged my bag close to my chest praying hard that God will spare me, looking for houses that I could dart into and hide. As I hear his footsteps approaching a run and his voice drawing closer to my attempt runaway, my prayers became more fervent and my darting eyes more urgent for an escape route. Fear gripped me as adrenalin and terror filled my body. I never once dared to turn to look back.

Soon, I heard his voice approaching almost as close as a whisper in my ear but my feet has reached the payment for the highway. He suddenly stopped chasing and I ran for my life away towards the bright lights and finally was able to turn round. At first I thought it was my imagination concocting some weird nightmare but as I see his face across the street staring at me walk away, I knew I was not dreaming.

As I continued to walk the further 30 minutes towards the store, my mind, soul and body was too numb to react. After my 10 hour shift, as I sat in the safety of my room, I realized that in exactly 24 hours I had to walk down that same road. I tried to ask my housemate to send me but she seems a little reluctant. She told me to face my fears.

As I prepared myself for the doom, I did all a person could do before a day that could change their life. I took out all my important stuff and locked it into a drawer. I carried nothing but a 10 dollar note, my phone and important phone numbers on a piece of paper. Yet, even so, I couldn't sleep. So, I called my ex boyfriend/best friend to say goodbye...in case anything happened. My concerns were answered with emotionless "uhuh's". My heart sank....a sleepless night to come.

The alarm once again beep 4.50 am. As I stepped out into the dark, I gripped my big bundle of hse keys til the blood rushed out. I prayed hard as I walked down the same path. My eyes darted around looking for anything suspicious. My heart raced 120 beats a minute. 10 minutes later, I reached the highway where he stopped. I felt relief wash over me but the worst is not over yet. I still had another 30 minutes to go. Soon I was safely in the warmth of the store. After holding it in for so long, I cried but no tears came. No time for that tho...there was work to do.

That night, as I lay in bed, the tears flowed. For the lost friendship, for the lost of safety, for the lost innocence, for the lost of faith in no fear. For what I thought could have been my last day alive.

posted by Orion @ 12:40 AM