Epistle of the stars!

This is my vow...

"This is my vow!" I scream at the top of my lungs standing atop a podium of flowers with the members of the floor cheering loudly, some tearing from the wonder of my words. I turn around to look behind me, there is no one standing there. "Where are my supporters?" I scream towards the empty chairs. I turn back to the front, the enthusiastic mob of people cheering me has disappeared. Silence surrounds me. I look down, "Am I naked?" as most horrible dreams would be. But it is the same old me, clad in my blue top from Padini I got a year ago from Curve with my beloved and my cheap RM20 jeans I got from Survey.

I hear the crickets creaking, the wind whistling and the leaves rustling. I feel terribly alone and my first reaction was to break down in tears. Too many tears has flown from my eyes, and they alone have rebelled against my body refusing me the relief of crying. I got to handle this on my own, no tears allowed; my brain commands me in what I imagine a commando hat.

I look up, I see the faces of all the people I love. And every one of them today has felt that they should walk away. "Have they moved on?" I ask my inner Jiminy Cricket. He ignores me too. Then, I decide with gusto. I will love them even more, communicate with them 10 times more, understand them 100 times more and be there for them a 1,000 times more. Because, I will not allow myself to give up on them. They were the reason for my smile on many days. The reason for me to feel complete on days when I am down.

There are days when I feel like screaming at their faces, telling them what they don't see wrong. Yet, we all know, when it comes to our own problems we are in denial. Like how I refused to eat because he won't love me. Like how he would drink and smoke when he was in pain. Like how she would think negatively bout her instead of trying to understand.

The fog is clearing day by day. Yet the amount of people standing, listening to my speeches has decreased to a simple NIL. But I am not giving up yet, I am only 22. If I got nothing to live for, it would be for them that I would live.

THE END

posted by Orion @ 6:11 PM