Epistle of the stars!

I TURN 22 TODAY!

I TURN 22 TODAY! Every year I look forward to my birthday cuz it is the most important date to me. And every year I get disappointed. My past 3 birthdays without my family has been horrific and I do not doubt at all that this will be any different. Since leaving home, I have not been sung Happy Birthday, I haven't gotten my galore of gifts many have bragged about and I have not not cried at midnight of that glorious day.

My first birthday away from home...my family forgot it. They were holidaying in Melinsung. I was crying on the phone...calling him all the way in KK just to moan about it. Which I still do not remember if he remembered. The next morning my housemate asked what I had on...I told her it was my birthday. I regretted my words once I said it, as the result of it? Being dragged around Mid Valley with her and her boyfriend acting as a lamp post. Gifts? None!

My second birthday. Was a little better...my parents didn't forget anymore. I had to work late in the coffee shop as there was a function which no one turned out for. The outcome...loads of food to pack home for my supposed party. So I reached home at 8.30 as I greeted my new housemates ( not the same as the story before)with packs of cold food. Had a call from mom and fell asleep. Gifts? Many promises and roses from Fiona. But we did have dinner in Chili's with a few friends who ended up being real horrible friends...long story!!!

My third birthday was supposed the best. NOT! I spent it in a hospital and paid a few thousand for just sitting there. I was pissed and I had KFC for dinner. No food provided in the hospital...SUCKS! To make up, I had a supposedly joint party with a friend. Didn't work out too....I didn't get my Happy Birthday song too. No cake. All for the other party boy. Oh gifts? A box of pies(which I appreciate after cooking for two days and waking up early the next day for a major assignment), someone stole my body shop foundation I just bought, and turtles from Wilson which now is in the custody of *drum roll* the other birthday person. Oh other gifts also include being told my food sucked, washing up til 2 am, waking up at 8 am to get to uni and holding the cake for the other person's birthday while I watched on as they all celebrated that person's birthday, singing "Happy Birthday" and taking pictures of the blowing candles out scene.

I did get a nice drinking session with a friend at a nice wine place. But as you know I was sick so I had a bottle of weird soft drink that cost 10 bucks. Dangit...hate being sick! The movie later on what not too bad...oh wait...it sucked....My Super-Ex Girlfriend. Not nice! Dangit..hate Hollywood. The cute snoopy and dolly is cute tho...Thanks Pam and Cass and Fi. So sweet of you. Oh and the strawberry cake. This time...the third make up was a charm.

Pathetic? So for this birthday, I do not expect anything..SERIOUSLY! I wished for too many years already. I tried everything. From telling everybody to not. You don't want to hear my previous birthdays which included a silent party where no one talked and it was no fun all the way to ...I don't know...can't remember...I tend to block out bad memories. This year...I am going to sit in my room and not go out. I just want it to pass and be forgotten. I told no one. And I pray and hope nothing bad happens. Hey...thanks for the sms Beb. The other sms I got I shall not mention. Let's just say it is another reason to cry...cuz I actually shamelessly asked the person for a gift which I race out to the post box everyday hoping to get but have not gotten. So, embarrassed...I shall not mention it anymore!

But all in all...being on your own away from home during these holiday/celebratory seasons is not fun. My Christmases are just as bad. But I will save it for another time when I don't sound so pathetic anymore. Happy Birthday Erin....*sigh*.

P.S. ~ And hey I blame no one but myself for all these. Like my good friend always tells me, I attract such things akakkaka...like my horrible dates which I shall only disclose with people who are actually interested to know...MUAHAHAHAH....But I do appreciate those who made the day a lot easier to bare.Thanks! For remembering and lovingly giving me a gift.

posted by Orion @ 3:06 AM