Monday, February 23, 2009

To be or not to be...AGGRESIVE!

Today....

I faint! I cry! I kill!

Because I am having a bad day. Because I have to go to court.

But then things started looking up as I drove the dangerous route of unstable minds and I start to chant to myself..."Focus on God and not my problems!"

At first it did not work as I swerved left and right missing the countless cars I was not paying attention to. But then, as I walked the endless mile of shame to ask for desperate help...God shined his light on a man named Andrew. Who decided to help willingly, for free...every step of the way...

Thank you God!!!

It has been hard but I am on my way to recovery.....

On to other more exciting things in my life...I started classes today and my lecturer was a short Asian gal who is overly aggresive...on her first day of lessons I already know she is partial towards beer, have only ONE bf and swears like a sailor...her first words today?"Shit!"

And the funniest thought was...I want to be her friend, and that I truly aspire to be her!! The crying frenzy just hours before seem to disagree with such thoughts but my mind just reeled with glee at the thought of being so......AGGRESIVE......

Have I finally turned insane?

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Life challanges & Phantom

There are times where our lives seems stricken with too many challenges. This year has been so for me...with stresses eroding my mind with worry day in and day out. So horrid that not sleeping has become a known side effect from it.

And I pray each day that God would stop this continuous pain and suffering. That maybe He doesn't love me anymore. And I wish for strength of people esp those who are working (which apparently working lives gives them the armour to fight such battles) to just disregard all that is happening and just move on. What is it about the working life that makes them not bother, not care, to judge what is important and to only aim for those and say "to hell with things not so important". I envy them yet feel that I am my worst enemy at such situations.

So I try hard to stop worrying...to have more time for things that make me happy rather than dwell on the facts of life unchanged...that "S*@$ happens!"

So, I think of wonderful things like....



Yes....Phantom of the Opera on Valentine's Day where I was able to be mesmerized by the ever so handsome Anthony Warlow. And his voice is absolutely divine...worth the hundred plus paid for it. Tho, I gotta say, the Burswood Theatre sells the most expensive of snacks...8 bucks for a beer....goodness.....

And for someone who hasn't seen a show in Perth before..I was absolutely stunned.....glued to the end of my seat, almost crying when they sang Think of Me. I am such a sucker for romance......!!!!

And, YES, the fact that someone actually wants to marry me.....*gush*

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And just when I think things are too bad...I get this e-mail from Gloria who touches my heart...that hits me at the core....

"And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others." -Rick Warren-

The only words to help me stand up again...Thank you God